Now I’ve been hard at work this month establishing the new normal for gender equality. Maybe I’m not quite sweeping the world off its feet with my So-Called new found awareness, but at least it’s working for my family.
Naturally, I’ve been focusing intently on my girls–but remember, it’s my 5 year old boy who really gets the credit for us embarking on this quest.
Instead of rambling on about how important it is to teach feminism as a family value across the board within your family, I turned the camera on good-ol-sport Leopold to show why:
My main focus with him at this point is to make sure this awesome play of his doesn’t get stifled when he goes to school for the first time this fall. I’m not 100% sure how I’m going to do it, but I have a feeling it’s going to be equal parts consistent conversation and involvement in his classroom–without, of course, turning into an insane helicopter mom. Again.
PS–My Feminist Starter Kit giveaway is going strong until the end of this month. Check out the details here.
So Called Mom
Of course boys should play with dolls. I know I did. Fluffy stuffed animals and Raggedy Ann and such left by my sister several years earlier.
He will want to fit into his peer group. That is a primal drive. No child wants to feel odd person out. Non-conformity is a very hard road to travel when a million years of evolution is screaming at him to be “normal” and belong. Don’t push anything onto a child that young except non-gender specific fundamental values like kindness and honesty. And if he decides that camouflage and GI Joe is the way to go cuz that is what all the other boys are into, go with the flow. You wouldn’t stop your girls from playing with GI Joe, would you?
Totally. But I think it’s more acceptable for girls to play with GI Joe than the other way around. It becomes a question of credibility when they’re older–and thats dumb as all hell. This is how we learn to hide our true selves from the world–when we discover we’re “doing it wrong”–and make the choice to change, not honor ourselves and fall into a pace that doesn’t feel right. One of my favorite sayings is: only dead fish go with the flow. I firmly believe that being true to yourself is far more important than being true to a group of people you don’t don’t know–or worse, changing who you are just to run with their pack. Maybe this is why I don’t have friends, haha! But I do know myself and I’d rather honor that than belong to a group of moms, for instance, that I well, just don’t belong in. What age do we learn this? And is it better to learn it sooner rather than later? Hmmmm….
We learn that later. KInd of a jr. high or high school thing. It happens when we first become sexually and politically aware. All a primary school kid needs to know is that boys and girls are equal and all children have the same options ahead of them. Let them decide which options to take.
What we are inside never changes. If he wants to play with different toys than the other boys you should support him every way you can. If he decides that comradery with other boys is what he wants and he switches to firetrucks and sports, you should support that as well. Just don’t throw away the colorful stuff. He’ll still want it.
I desperately wish I’d been able to run with the pack. I couldn’t – or rather they wouldn’t let me because I didn’t fit. I think I first considered suicide when I was ten. Back then was only a bit less cruel than today.
It is easy for an adult to say they don’t need peer group approval. We’ve had the chance to develop thick skins and strong egos. And we are good at deluding ourselves as to the extent of our nonconformity. Adults have the entire world and the internet in which to seek out commonality. A little kid only has their class.
Don’t know where you get the idea that only dead fish go downstream. Young salmon ALL go downstream. It isn’t until adulthood when they head upstream – and then it is only for spawning more young salmon.
Hi! Stopping by from Mom Bloggers Club. Great blog!
Have a nice day!