This past weekend I rode my bike completely nude with tens of thousands of strangers in Portland, Oregon.
For years, I thought I understood the reason for this wild parade of strangers: a protest on fossil fuel, bike rights and safety, and of course the biggest component of all: Getting naked to advocate for body positivity.
It wasn’t until I joined in on this spectacle that I became fully aware of the importance of the ride: In the past it felt enough to attend and show support just by being there. But my hangups over getting stripped down prevented me from joining in because, well, what if people look at me?
Well that’s kind of the point.
I couldn’t help but laugh at the fact that when I arrived in the park, I was searching for a tree or bush to get undressed behind.
Initially, I was too embarrassed to just take it all off in the middle of an open field among so many others who were already undressed. I reminded myself why I was there and forced myself to strip down, trying not to look like I was raised by a conservative East Coast family. My cheeks went red, but my body was relieved. It was after all, dusk and still 80+ degrees out. I stashed my clothes in my bag and started walking with my bike, trying not to stare at anyone, trying to get underneath why I was so uncomfortable. And then it hit me.
As women especially, we’ve been cultivated to look at other women and compare ourselves to them.
We do it all day, every day and mostly without knowing it. We do it to judge and ultimately see how we measure up against others—hereby judging ourselves. We make assumptions based on what we see and discount all the life that has taken place in between: A bad hair day, a parking ticket, a death in the family. And then our minds file all that visual proof so we can use it to apply to ourselves destructively, as needed. When we become mothers, we do the same with our children in tow and sometimes allow ourselves to spoon feed this disgusting habit directly into their mouths because we fear we might have to explain to them what it’s like to be different, as thought it were a bad thing. Especially when all we really want is for them to belong.
But I learned that removing the barrier of clothes, that cheap and easy veil of judgement, that we really do all belong. And that even though it felt vulnerable to remove the fake security that clothing suggested to me at the start, it really was a relief. What started as a feeling of powerlessness, transformed into overwhelming strength and empowerment by the end of the night.
I realized that when nakedness is normalized, beauty comes into crystal clear focus, and judgement falls away.
I felt this empowerment take over especially for women. That for the time being, our bodies had a day off. A time-out from being exploited, shamed and encouraged to play the comparison game. We took a hiatus from being the driver of mass marketing. That for just one night our bodies could have a free moment to not be the reason food and beer looks tastier. That we could forget the torture of why bodies look so damn fresh and clean with soap running down a flat stomach unmarred by the scars of a difficult childbirth.
That I could let myself stare, oogle and giggle at all of our bodies under a better light of hope: We are different. We are shapely. We are defined by our lines, angles, our scars, our lives. What we have underneath is better than what you see on top. And it is all beautiful and exactly as it should be. Exactly you.
Please, let’s agree to stop looking at one another like we’re earmarking it for days we need to feel better or worse about ourselves. Let’s agree to notice when we are and to interrupt our thoughts by recalling the day we rode next to one another, free from judgement. Let’s embrace our thighs, our tummies, our hips and our strength; Let’s group it all together and pass it on like a gift. And let’s share all of it day after day with our kids. I promise to.
Exposed and loving it,
So-Called Mom
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When I read the first sentence I was shocked and then as I read on I was empowered and so very proud of you all! This article actually came at a good time for me while I was comparing my upper arms to those of Instagram fitness models, haha! Everyone tries so hard to fit in and it’s so cool to see people let their guard down. Congratulations! So proud of you.
The hardest part for me was seeing all these young girls with their pretty breasts all over the place. My instinct was to cover mine, not because I was uncomfortable, but because I was afraid of what others might think when they see them. I have always felt that way because I have nursed 5 kids for 10 years and let’s just say they’re not exactly considered pretty these days. Pretty by whose standards though? That’s just my own negative projection onto them. Since this ride, I have been trying to see them differently and be proud: they have functioned for SO MUCH MORE than a sex symbol or part of an ad campaign or even just a thing on my body to emphasize curves. They have nurtured and provided comfort and also angst and sadness when I was struggling to nurse or finally done nursing my kids–a full circle journey with all the stories to drape along side them. haha! Thanks for your sentiments–I’m feeling pretty great about the folks I rode with too!
Being a mom to 5 kids is commendable and any adverse body effects from it are nothing to worry about. Granted, I know we get so used to comparing ourselves to others, but that’s society causing us to be this way. I was so focused on their flat tummies and perfect waistlines! But, hey, that’s what Spanx is for. They probably have things they don’t like about themselves too. I’m just so proud of you for getting out there and taking on stigmas and images of all we should be! I don’t even pick up major fashion/beauty magazines anymore. I hope this ride helped to alleviate the anxiety that comes with try to fit it. You’re a badass! I admire you for this. 🙂
,
You’re kidding me right?
Cos the first line is definitely a shocker!
But it’s quite impressive and bold, we all need to accept ourselves the way we are and the way we look and appreciate it too.
maybe someday, I’d join you guys.
Self acceptance is a constant tussle. It isn’t really about how we look, but what’s in our heads about how we look. I was having an interesting conversation with someone on IG who said to me: “I’f I looked like you, I’d have no problem riding either.” I wish it was that simple. We all come with our hangups and struggles and I believe that is what the ride is for, for collectively overcoming that one biker at a time. It would be AWESOME to have you join in! 🙂
You said,
“It isn’t really about how we look, but what’s in our heads about how we look.”
You are so right. I grew up a heavy kid and grew into an overweight man. Then one day in my later 30s I started working out at the local YMCA, taking aerobics classes along with weight training. Over the next year-plus people kept telling me how good I looked, but I couldn’t see it. In my mind I was still fat and that was all I would ever be. Then one day I stopped and really looked at myself in the mirror and I no longer was that overweight guy who had started so many long months before. I had transformed myself into a much slimmer and muscular image, but my self-image had yet to catch up with my outer image.
Now I’m 61 and quite a bit heavier again, in the process of losing that weight once more, but it doesn’t matter. Now I know how to love who I am regardless of how I look or what I’m wearing, after all, I’ve been a nudist most of my life and whether I’m dressed or undressed I’m still me.
Wow, I loved reading this. It is a life long commitment to the journey of self-acceptance, with little reminders along the way. I’m constantly having to tell myself: Hey, this is not so bad. Quit doing this to yourself. Be nicer to yourself. You’re all good. Unfortunately one of my boyfriends in my early years was abusive and he constantly was analyzing me for what he saw. He was an iron man triathlete and I was not. I was never first in his eyes–not even second–but dead last. Unfortunately I went on to marry someone else, and much worse–who taught me how to abuse diet pills and laxatives and even how to make myself throw up after a meal. I was young, he was 10 years older–an alcoholic with self image issues of his own. It wasn’t until very recently (I’ll turn 40 on Thanksgiving this year) that I’ve come to not only accept myself, but also start to like myself–mind body and soul. Yoga got me there. A (different) positive and loving husband got me there. My kids got me there. But most of all, I got me there–I worked hard to just stop pushing for nothing other than learning to love what I already have and what I am and just started realizing that there is no there there if I’m not already good with right here. I hope this isn’t too cerebral a response as I can get that way sometimes! 😀 Happy 4th Jacob!
I have never heard of such a thing so was also pretty shocked initially. I’m not sure I have the bottle but this is a great a inspiring story more people should embrace.
I hope people do embrace themselves more. It’s an ongoing challenge isn’t it? No matter what our body type–we always seem to want something else. It’s hard to just settle and say: this is good. Right here. I’m good with what I have–it’s not perfect–but it’s better than that because this body is real and perfection is not. Thanks! 🙂
The World Naked Bike Ride takes place in dozens of cities around the world. Lots of YouTube vids, Facebook and Twitter accounts too. Try it someday, it’s bare as you dare.
You are badass! This is awesome! I love your message about body positivity. I am also trying to be comfortable in my own skin. Wonderful post!
Thanks! You are a badass too! 🙂
This is AWESOME!
Thanks Nancy! YOU are awesome! 🙂
This was only my second time. And I was not shy or reluctant to tear it all off asap. But the experience and the exitement of the even are just so overwhelming. I think even the shy can’t help but want to be apart of it once you actually feel the energy. Being body positive and comfortable in your own skin shouldn’t be a rare thing. All bodies are beautiful and gods gift. Show it off and be proud
I love this perspective. You’re right, it shouldn’t be rare and there is power and truth in numbers. I felt very empowered and really do wish I didn’t need to wait a year to feel that energy again.
There are other events and places. Or find your happy spot deep in a wilderness area. Or just be naked at home when you can.
http://www.oregonlive.com/entertainment/2015/06/how_to_get_naked_in_oregon.html
Next on the list is to involve hubby and the kids.
Everyone should ride the WNBR. It’s amazing and joyous. I’d also recommend taking the family to a nudist resort. More sedate, but there’s swimming pools and such where no one has to wear clammy, dripping swim costumes.
I agree–a hot springs or something. Hmmmmm….
There are a couple of family nudist resorts in the Portland area. Take the mob!
Congratulations to you for having the courage to do this! I attended my first WNBR this year as well (Los Angeles). I found the event to be transformative. What I found interesting was the overwhelming support we received from the people we passed by. I think deep down a lot of people crave the level of authenticity that social nudity enables. They either don’t know it yet, or can’t quite summon the courage to act on it. Thanks for your post. – Steve
It WAS so fun to hi five all the folks hanging out & cheering from the side, wasn’t it? I wonder about LA–must’ve been HUGE?
LA is small compared to Portland, they go about it differently, and I think it loses them ridership.
Bravo for you. I’ve been a nudie all my life and have seen the reactions for nude demonstrations change from disgust to acceptance over the decades. But somehow the reaction to male and female nudity remains different.
That’s frustrating isn’t it? Nudity should level the field. I’ve been working harder at teaching feminism at home and not pushing gender based play, especially onto my littlest one. I find that when I let him explore toys on his own, he chooses from a variety of things to play with: happy to play with my heels on and a wonder woman shield on the floor with cars and dinosaurs and of course sticks made into guns. 🙂 My next one is a female skateboarder looking to change the stigma that girls can only pose (sexy, ugh) with boards and not ride them.
Not to intrude but how did the immediate family handle it?
They were born with a crazy mom & crazy family so no eyebrows were raised. 🙂 I fear I’m boring by now!
can i see the full version video? or can u upload video or photos about wnbr portland 2017?
This is a topic that most of us shy away from, i salute your courage and your views on this.
A very nice discussion
I can totally relate ! I worked for years in an office with lots of other women, judgemental women. I always enjoyed dressing sexy for work and play. Short skirts & dresses, lots of cleavage and tight sweaters. It made feel alive to get noticed. However my co-workers hated and criticized it along with my then husband who was jealous and insecure. After a divorce I met Mr T who was accepting and encouraging of my manner of dress. In 2005 we went to a nearby nude resort. That day there were probably 50-75 people there for the day and I got totally naked in front of them. Did they stare at me and analyze and judge me ?? No they didn’t they came by and extended a welcome to us, friendliest people ever. Was I scared and nervous, yes, for about 15 mins. I then realized no one there cared what you looked like. It didn’t matter what size your breast were or how big your thighs or butt were or how your vulva was shaped or if it was shaved or not. It was wonderful to finally be who I am, to be me, naked with no cares and no judgements. We were all liberated. 🙂 (Kim)
Great post, I attended the London ride with my 16yo trans son. He’d chosen not to strip off but as a keen cyclists and fierce supporter of LGBT rights he’d accordingly decorated his top with various slogans for the protest.
One of my favourite comments of his, made afterwards was that he’d never realized what a range of difference there was in men’s penis sizes! My wife and him had previoauly discussed bottom surgery and the topic of “well what kinda size would you like?” had come up and prior to this he’d not really had a frame of reference beyond me! This lead to a bit of explaining the difference between a grower and a shower
I also totally understand what you meant about the undressing bit too, it was my first time attending the event and first time as a naturist and it felt odd arriving at out start in South London to a garden full of 20 or so naked people, I made a bolt for the loo and decided “no time like the present” so came out carrying my shorts and it just felt “right”. Had a bloody fantastic time and will definitely be taking part again next year!
WOW! What an awesome experience all around. All I can think about these days, is how much parenting has changed since we were kids. There seems to be so much more openness and embracing our kids for being who they are than I remember. My 14 year old daughter is going through something unique too. And it is only until recently that I discovered that I’m really the one who needs/is asking for a label for her/him/they–she’s perfectly fine in her unlabeled skin. I’m proud that she is honoring herself and reminding me that sometimes not being able to define yourself is as beautiful as not being able to put words to a sunset.
The thing about variability in penis size… and shape… and dangle angle… and circumcision status. I think I even mentioned that on my own blog. That wasn’t a problem when I was a kid. Nude showers after PE was the rule.
Today we are frightened someone might compare and feel inferior. We are also afraid the gym teacher will be peeking.
Not all the “progress” in sexuality and body image has been good. Now guys refer to their genitalia as “junk”.
The “dangle angle”, I’m in tears over here. That is a new one for me, lol.
I think this should be the true start of your series on feminism. When you are done, compile them into a book. I’ll buy the first dozen and give them as gifts. I know quite a few people who would enjoy and maybe benefit from them. I love the look and feel of paper and print.
Not sure what to do about the videos. Maybe do a transcript and include them as a bonus DVD in the back.
What a refreshing story to hear the first impressions of feeling free of the commercial and pseudo moral entrapments of Society. When a human being finally transcends the fear of nudity and embraces their own humanity and that of others, is a moment of growth and healing. Shame is one of the covers for all that is wrong with our world. When we finally cut that chain in our lives we start to be more open to others and to ourselves. We really start to connect with thei world of ours in a different way, because we feel connected to each other. In ways you never imagined. Thank you for sharing your experience, for many of us naturism is part of our daily life, and we spent it also enjoying our bodies in nature with our kids and friends as much as possible. Find a club or a Naturist park near you and continue to make friends and let your body connect with the healing power of nudity.
I totally will, thanks Joe. A consistent thing I shared with many women that night was: Why does this happen only once a year? It was the most freedom I’ve felt in my entire life. <3