SoCalledMom

Coronavirus Journal Entry 8: Quarantine Routine for the Soul

by SoCalledMom · Apr 17, 2020

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I pretty much have a quarantine routine down pat as we round the corner on day 50 in self-isolation. That’s just about one-seventh of a year, eek!

This routine is not about productivity or goal setting or getting back to the way things were. This routine strictly exists to feed my soul, here and now and well into the future. I’ve found that developing a simple plan to get through each day helps me reconnect with myself, my family and with others.

My morning consists of waking up at 7 am and making coffee. I spend time catching up on news and then get Chia, my special needs bunny, from the downstairs bathroom. A week ago, our neighbors dog got her and now her spine is severed, resulting in paralysis. She is taking medicine, is eating and drinking although we do need to help her go to the bathroom every few hours.

After Chia is set up Outside, I let out Francis & Demergatroid (our silly french Duclair ducks) and fill their water. Then out comes our hens: Clementine and Chickybaby for a day of free-ranging in the sun/rain. And Penny, the newest little chicken joins in too.

And just like that, we have plenty of time to fly the kite Milla got for her birthday
(that was in September!)

By this time, all 7 kids are waking up and getting their own days going. Some have opted to login for school, some not. They’ve been getting their own dose of fresh air time too. And we’ve been collectively reinventing family time. Our family used to wake up and rush the day away. Now it feels so much more considerate, all around.

We love our bread machine!
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I’m working very limited and remote hours at my day-job creating content to keep the University Club of Portland alive and kicking each morning. Afterwards, I reel the focus back in: For myself, there are three things I like to do every day, no matter what. They are read, write, and get exercise. These things provide us with natural ways to become a better human all around and will ground you with connection and daily purpose.

Outside of this routine, exists few and far between trips to the store, household upkeep and other things to not just pass the time, but make the most of it. Ingredients go into the bread machine daily. Fruit is sliced and dehydrated. What can we learn today? What can we try out? Take a time out, decompress and rest. It’s all important.

I prefer to be productive but sometimes I’m not and that’s ok too. All in all, we’re striving to make this new normal, better than the normal we had before. And it’s working.

xo, So Called Mom

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*Affiliate Link* Disclosure: Bear in mind that some of the links in this post are affiliate links and if you go through them to make a purchase I will earn a commission. Keep in mind that I link these companies and their products because of their quality and not because of the commission I receive from your purchases. The decision is yours, and whether or not you decide to buy something is completely up to you.

Coronavirus Journal Entry 7: The Ballad of Make-Believe Homesteading

by SoCalledMom · Apr 10, 2020

Now that we’ve passed 40 days in self isolation, it feels like things should be getting easier, but it’s still touch and go. We’ve been keeping ourselves occupied with household tasks that occasionally get so punchy, it’s out of control. I revel in these great distractions when you can forget about how hard things have gotten for awhile and just laugh uncontrollably.

Another perfect distraction: a lonesome and very needy chick…

Outside of our tiny utopia and make-believe homesteading, I’m at a loss. There’s too much change taking place at once and too much left to the unknown to find comfort in much of anything. On a good day, the best we can all do is wring our hands and pace the floors until another day goes by. And call it good enough.

The next best thing is to try to do little things each day, to positively affect our collective mood. Before all of this, we were in the midst of buying a house, I was finishing writing my book, and some of my older kids were becoming full grown adults with a pretty solid idea of who they want to be. Now that everything is up in the air, I’m trying to gauge how it will land. And when it does, how do I help transform this tragedy into something with an upside. But it’s hard to look at things with a fresh perspective when the weight of the world is pushing down on us.

Truth be told, I’m out of my mind because we’ve lost so much. Just like you. But it’s because I have you that I’m able to get through this. Thanks for that.

xo, So Called Mom

Coronavirus Journal Entry 6: Unschooling During a Pandemic

by SoCalledMom · Apr 7, 2020

I’m not sure what this whole craze is about pressing ahead with homeschooling. This isn’t a time to accelerate, especially with our kids. If anything, this is a time to completely take your foot off the gas and re-connect with them over super slow days jam packed with a clean slate.

Now is the time to talk about what is going on in the world. It is time to ask them what they think. It is time to ask: if you could do anything at all, and know you aren’t going to be judged or graded, what would that be? You might be surprised with the response.

In the past I have repeatedly lost the war over screen time. This is not the time to go at it again. On a similar note, I have let my kids quit school before to take up homeschooling. It went well enough for them to survive it. I feel like this is another one of those times where letting our kids off the hook is a good thing. This definitely includes school.

Instead of logging into ZOOM, do something else. Go for a walk, make some art, build a huge fort in Minecraft together. Do something that previously might not have mattered and let it take up your time together. Now is what we have, so seize it by zeroing out the stress of perseverance.

If you’re looking for a few neat projects (without pressure!) to do together, I have a list of things that have worked for us noted below: The Eames House of Cards has been a fun tool for us; sometimes we’ve created wacky structures while talking about tween life, breakups, ways to approach your new boss and also plain talk, free from weighty subject matter. It’s a self explanatory zen game, really, and just as fun to work with others, as it is alone.

We’ve had success making the planetary mobile above as it has led to some long term interest, conversations, questions and fascinations about space. And I cannot SING enough praises about what a difference adding a growing fixture has made to our little indoor garden. For instructions on how to grow one using materials your quarantined-self already has, check out this handy-dandy video tutorial I made.

If you know me at all, you know I love dressing up…even if I have nowhere to go. In any case, this ensemble reminds me of my kindergarten teacher when I went to that funky hippie school in Connecticut. Just go with it, no one will see you, you sexy beast. 🙂

Finally, here are some really great books that have helped me transition from traditional school, to homeschool and finally unschooling. Side note: The book titled: What your Second Grader needs to Know is one of those state assessment/common core nonsense books. I appreciate this one because it merely serves as a guide to see where your kid is at versus what society is expecting. It barely matters to me, so I’ve used this as a jumping off point only, when Leopold transitioned last year.

I hope everyone is doing alright out there. At least doing the best they possibly can be. We are stronger together and our kids are right here, are by our side.

xo, So Called Mom

Coronavirus Journal Entry 5: From Making Do, to Making it Happen

by SoCalledMom · Mar 31, 2020

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Like many of you, I’m still riding the wave of emotion since our self-isolation has turned into state and national lockdown. One day, I’m doing fine and loving precious time spent with my family, and the next? I’m crying and helpless, forcing myself to do something, anything, just to get through the day.

In a blended family of nine, you’re kind of forced to be creative at all times. Creativity is survival around here. And I mean creative with finances, creative with food, creative with entertainment, you name it. Just add nearly 15 years of this and it all adds up: Gardening is a great example of this and I’m so happy summertime is on its way.

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One thing I will say I miss terribly from my regular routine, is shopping. I admit this sounds quite shallow at a time like this, but getting ready for life and work is something that has boosted how I feel about myself over the years. Clothes improve my mood; fun, funky, comfortable, easy clothes. If I feel like I look awesome, then I have a jammin’ day. Seriously, it’s that easy. That said, here are some acceptable staples to stay at home with:

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You may not know what a self help junkie I am. A pessimist at heart, I have been working hard to re-wire my brain for a more positive outlook. Essentially, much like how you can speak negatively to yourself and believe it, the same is also true for positive self-talk. The more we interrupt the negativity and reframe our thinking, the more change-in-a-good-way we’ll see. These are my top three to get started:

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Last but not least here are some staples to help with making your days spent in isolation simplified, organized and, of course, special:

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How are you staying busy/engaged/creative? How are you giving yourself space to experience the emotional swing each day brings fourth? Remember, I need human connection, too–so I’d love to hear from you. <3

Big time love on a (very good) day,

So Called Mom

Coronavirus Journal Entry 4: What Seven Kids Think

by SoCalledMom · Mar 24, 2020

Well, I *had* a new Journal entry written out for you, but then I checked in with my kids on camera. Watch what happened when I interviewed the experts on hope and leadership:

With each new day brings about an entirely new shitstorm to wake up to. The false guarantee previously known as the American dream has splintered into an unfixable mess.

This morning I woke up curious about hope. Where does it come from and how do we get more of it?

To me, hope is an evolving relationship. It comes from our past experiences and is fed forward into the future. It’s a lifeline that smothers our frayed nerves and tells us to keep going. It tells you to open your eyes wide and look around. Now count what you see: those things will get you through this.

Now that we’re collectively in the eye of the storm, or are about to be, what does hope and leadership mean to you? What do your kids say about all of this? Please tell me we’re not alone here….

xo,

So Called Mom

Coronavirus Journal Entry 3: In This Together

by SoCalledMom · Mar 20, 2020

I had a dream last night that a vaccination was made for the Coronavirus but the president wouldn’t allow it. I woke up pissed off and afraid and also worried that it wasn’t really a dream.

Sometimes my thoughts just zoom way out of my reality and I can’t come to terms with what’s really going on in our world. But then I see beautiful people singing on their balconies in an effort to help everyone feel like they aren’t alone in this.

And then I realize this *is* our reality. Coming together over this very preventable travesty has brought about a new version of myself.

If yesterday was designated as a day to consciously move slower and with more intention, let today be the day we realize what we do have:

Each other.

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Today I’m celebrating people fighting the good fight. I’m celebrating the planet which apparently is trying to tell us how much they needed a break from us. I’m trying to refocus this forced pause on our lives, into opportunity. What are we learning from this as each day goes on?

I’m learning that while anything can happen, one thing is for certain: Our filthy excuse for a presidential administration will not prevail. We will.

Thanks to everyone who is working overtime to protect, serve and give others the will to survive. We all are for ever indebted to you.

xo,

So called mom

Covid-19 Journal Entry 2: Slow Life, Like it or Not

by SoCalledMom · Mar 20, 2020

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After all the news of shut downs and closures finally starting to happen, I now realize we’re going to be here for much longer than any of us anticipated. If you and I thought two weeks was long, try eight. Or three months. Or however long this thing will last.

Since we’ve already been self-quarantined for going on three weeks ourselves, I’m accepting it: Life will forever be changed and there is nothing we can do to get back to the way it once was.

As a society, the majority of people living and working in the US have lived the last 10-15 years doing way too much. Everyone is hustling. Moving up. Getting ahead. Trying to catch a break. Therefore we’re overworked and still don’t feel like we’re enough. We’ve learned to multitask ourselves into the ground and become so multifaceted, there isn’t enough time for rest or sleep. We’re always on. Always available. Always exhausted. And we have evolved to be extra time sensitive. There isn’t enough of us to go around, to get it all done. And so it’s hustle hustle hustle. You’d better do it well, and do it quickly. We’ve been persevering like sharks in a tight tank—forever moving forward, circling ourselves, so we don’t drown.

This increasingly intense behavior has taught us over the course of at least a half a lifetime, that going slow is bad. That taking the time to do something, means it’s not worth it. Our patience has dwindled—with ourselves and with each other. And the knee jerk reaction is always to step it up.

As a busy mom of seven, and with a full time career, I know the incessant feeling of not feeling like I’m good at much of anything. There simply isn’t time to zero in or hone my craft. I hate that feeling and I have often dreamed of stepping away from doing things that reinforce this feeling of inadequacy.

Indeed, the thing I think about most is living a slower life. This fantasy includes me doing less, and being able to still make ends meet, with a reduced income. It means reusing and repurposing. It means being more conscious and producing way less waste. If I could flip a switch now, I’d be on farm and in a home with only the things we need and use. The kids pitch in more than they currently do—and we can function like a small company.

Part of me realizes this thinking is unrealistic, head-in-the-clouds, la-la-land-type nonsense, but another part of me recognizes that it’s time to make some of this a reality. In terms of the tragedy currently unfolding before our very eyes, slow living is the answer. It is the way we’ll get through this. Slowing down intentionally will reduce panic and anxiety. And it will take time to adjust and undo all the years spent doing nothing but stepping it up. But it’s worth it, because what’s the alternative? I can’t come up with an answer.

Dialing down the intensity of life could look like this: Doing less, trying to re-center in the present moment, put an emphasis on people you care about and even know when to unplug. The point is to reduce chaos to enjoy life more; take your foot off the gas pedal and try to coast a little bit. To get out of the fast lane. Right now. Instead of freaking out about being cooped up with family you’re realizing you barely know, shift. Do something that previously felt like it barely mattered, and do it together.

Yesterday I woke up and found myself digging through our craft bin. I found some loose origami paper and looked up how to make something simple like swans. I drank my coffee and made swan after swan until it was memorized and everyone else was up. Then they joined me.

We have a bunch of stuff to use that I never got around to tossing after our previous attempts at homeschooling, but even if you don’t have these things, have no fear. Have a pair of scissors and some shoeboxes? Make box robots, or small houses with cardboard furniture. Make finger puppets from an old t-shirt and a needle & thread. Dismantle an old dvd player and repurpose the pieces.

The time is now to use your imagination. Let go of all the other stuff we’ve been programmed to cling to. It simply doesn’t matter anymore and will not be of use moving forward.

Creativity is the new normal. However we rebound, we will forever be changed by this. Emerge with a strengthened sense of self by slowing down.

Stay sane, parents. This too will eventually pass.

xo, So Called Mom