We are at the halfway point with Jake being at Outward Bound. Even though we haven’t heard from him at all, I already know how much change and growth is happening. I know because I can feel it happening to me. I feel strength, confidence and like a huge leap has been taken into adulthood. And I haven’t been there to hinder him.
I hate to make it about me, but I fully recognize that I was a big part of the problem.
Case in point, here I am tying his shoes, not once, but twice, in the last week leading up to this thing.
Embarrassing, I know!
This is a really good exercise in accountability. I really believe that most of us So-Called Moms don’t intentionally meddle or try to mess up our kids. I think we have babies, teach them to survive and then continue, out of habit, to teach them they need us. For everything. And then we get frustrated when they get frustrated with us for not letting them take on their own life, even when they are sending very clear messages.
It’s never too late to redeem yourself for all those years you did some crazy hand holding when it definitely was not needed. I’m excited to see him, but I’m also excited to have him come back and be unfamiliar to me. He’s on his own now.
I’m grateful for this program. I knew I would be, but this is a different level. I feel like Outward Bound is our family’s version of what most parents would consider Yale or Harvard for their kid. There is nothing more to say about it. I’m beaming just sitting here writing about an experience I am really only speculating about. And the bast part is knowing that it’s not speculation, but intuition. And that’s all I need to become the parent that I’ve always wanted to be.